So you want to get rid of our "Maybe I Should"?

Yes

Instead of putting together a crash course on “How To Get Rid Of Your ‘Maybe I Should’”, I will save you time, money, and energy, and give you my top-secret ancient and magical formula to make your life 10 times better when each “Maybe I Should” in your head instantly decreases your radiance by 147% ¹:

Replace every “Maybe I Should” with “Just Drop It”.

It also works with regretful thoughts like “Maybe I Should Have…”!

You welcome.

In our highly digital world², everything I see is a not-so-subtle invitation to add more “Maybe I Should” to my endless “Maybe I Should” list — a list that we are ending here and now.

Enough guilt! Enough pressure!

If you think you are immune to the “Maybe I Should” kind of thoughts, or if you can’t name what’s secretly haunting and “shoulding” you, just open your Instagram ‘Explorer’. It’s mirroring back at you what you think you should be, do, and have.

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Do you remember The Devil Wears Prada³ (2006)?

(Here we go for the juicy part)

Do you remember the opening scene, with the juxtaposition of the Ordinary World and the Special World (fashion)?

Do you remember how Andrea from the Ordinary World progressively merges with the Special World (here, fashion), with her full 180° style and moral transformation culminating when she goes to Paris? As her work becomes her life — she is merging with the Special World, she is… being influenced.

Well her face is a map of the world
Is a map of the world
You can see she's a beautiful girl
She's a beautiful girl
And everything around her is a silver pool of light
The people who surround her feel the benefit of it
It makes you calm
She holds you captivated in her palm

Subconsciously, we are always being influenced — and before we know it, our thoughts become “I should do this, have this, be this”. A burden we push uphill only for it to roll back down.

The movie The Devil Wears Prada was released in 2006, that’s 18 years ago (!).

In 2024, our environment also includes the digital world, or as Kyle Chayka names it, “Filterworld” — and the borders between the ordinary world and the special world are fading, to the point that we⁴ believe that what we see online is the ordinary world. We tend to think that what we see on TikTok or Instagram is… normal when it is staged.

In this confusion are born many “Maybe I Should”…

“The tyranny of likes is in part a function of the algorithmic ecosystem we exist in online. Each button press is another data signal to be absorbed, a small sign that you’re paying attention to a piece of content that can then be used to train machine-learning systems to serve you more of that thing. ”

Kyle Chayka, Filterworld (2024)

Our longing to belong — and our fear of missing out? — is suddenly driving the car, and what we used to describe as crazy or irrational (from the Ordinary World's point of view) becomes the new normal.

This is when we buy things we don’t need, sign up for workshops we might not attend, or start projects that are not meant for us (it’s not our zone of genius).

At this stage, we lose touch with our inner authority, our inner ability to live with integrity — what feels correct for us to be doing — and where we want to draw the line to say no to things we don’t want to do (= Maybe I Should Not).

Drawing the line is everything.

It’s self-respect, and it’s saying “This is okay, this is not okay”.

A red flag is when this line is defined by something outside of ourselves when we are pushed to go a little bit further into the “filter world”, moving further away from what is truly us, our integrity, and our capacity to act in alignment with our inner wisdom.

Not drawing the line — losing touch with what is correct for us — is costing us our radiance in the sense of our inner light shining throughout our being because there is an alignment between who we uniquely are, what we project out in the world, and what is perceived from us.

This publication, The Light Letter, is an open invitation to get to know who we are better than any algorithm will ever do. If anything is “crazy” here, then it’s in the context of me wishing you to have a crazy good life.

There is a difference between being influenced and being… inspired:

I want to be inspired.

I want to inspire you… to get closer to what is correct for you.

Inspired to connect back to how the Divine wants to experience Itself through me.

Inspired to express myself in a way that feels exactly like me.

Inspired to find ways to give back the gifts that have been given to me.

Inspired to be fully present for those in front of me (you!), and beam my light and love on them (you!).

This is my purpose, right here, right now.

To give myself a chance to be correct with the decision I’m making, and to give others a chance to be correct with their decision process.

To be able to hold the space for myself and those around me (in the room, physically and digitally), so that everyone can shine, given the right lighting.

The world of online spirituality and manifestation is not doing so much better at anchoring us in our purpose, here and now, and would rather treat our need for making sense of our existence like a hanging carrot always to be chased, just one more workshop, just one more book… The promise of enlightenment, of human betterment is what keeps this industry going, adding more “Maybe I Should” to our list, making us feel that, if it doesn’t work out, it’s because we are not paying attention enough, as if we owe somebody something.

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The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our thoughts.

If you’ve been with me for a while, you know what I always say:

Belief → Thought → Feeling → Action → Result

If we want a different result (for example, being inspired vs. being influenced), we want to pay attention to the initial belief we are buying into (we pay, we buy, we owe…).

Where does this belong? Where does it come from? The “ordinary” world, or the “special” world? How does this land in my body? What’s your inner authority⁵ telling you? Do I feel pressured to act? Do I even have time and space to be correct and aligned with my decision process (is there a countdown or expiration date decided by someone else?)?

I keep this wheel of emotions in my phone⁶:

Feel free to screengrab this — source

With this wheel, you can pinpoint with precision what you feel, find the original story behind it, and see if how you are feeling is aligned with how you want to live your life.

What I would tell a friend: take 30 seconds to check in with yourself before putting your credit card number anywhere.

Example 1: Oh, I want to buy this (Maybe I Should buy this). Because… I feel neglected. Indeed I’m feeling lonely. It’s sadness. I want to buy this because I think it will take away what I’m feeling.

Example 2: Oh, I want to support this publication (Maybe I Should upgrade to paid?). Because I feel thankful. Yes, I’m grateful. It’s adding value to my life. It’s love. I want to support this publication because it feels good, a natural extension of our relationship.

Sounds different, right?

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I learned from

Elise Loehnen

that should (the past of shall) contains “a sense of indebtedness”, as in “to owe (something someone)”. In her words, “should dribs with obligation… like a sense of doing something that you don’t necessarily wanna do or that you’re required to do”. And with 210k views on Instagram in just 48 hours, her video shows us that you and I are not the only ones feeling ready to get rid of our should: “No more should, no more owing”.

Maybe it’s time to reclaim the ownership of our thoughts.

Next time you catch yourself thinking “Maybe I Should”, replace it with “Just Drop It”. This is also drawing a line, this is self-respect, and for the sake of it, this is self-love.

Maybe “everyone wants to be us”, but, we can always choose again:

Infinite Blessings,

Ardas Chandra

I’ll see you in the comments when you are ready:

1. not scientifically proven, rather, an hyperbole created by the author

2. a blessing when it comes to being connected to you

3. such a great movie with a perfect hero’s journey

4. it’s a universal “we”, as in “most people would”

5. you may pull out your Human Design chart and learn more about your inner authority — in case of doubt, or if you’re new to this, send me a message!

6. As a parent, this is also helpful to initiate a dialogue with my child — when he says “Mama, I’m sad”, I can inquire deeper (“Oh are you disappointed because there is no yoghurt left?”). We love the children’s book The Color Monster.