It's my birthday today, so I wrote a letter

The Mastery of your Light & the Mystery of your Shadows

I have a weird tradition of writing letters to my future self, and the letters get delivered to my mailbox¹.

Today, I am doing something different.

As I am turning 32 today (!), I wrote a letter to my 21-year-old self… “speaking words of wisdom” from where I am today. Here is the letter.

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Imagine this, my dear: on January 24th, 2024, you’ll turn 32.

24 is your lucky number, and that’s how I know this will be a special time in your life… It seems very far away from you when you are just 21 and still so innocent… Trust that this letter is your Call To Adventure.

There are a couple of things I want you to know now, and when this day comes — on January 24th, 2024 — I hope that you feel exactly at the right place at the right time, surrounded by people that you love more than you can even express it.

The chaotic truth is that, oh, my dear, you are such a perfectionist!

This perfectionism will cost you a lot of energy, money, time, friendships, missed opportunities, regrets, tears, and tensions in your body…

Let me take a shortcut here and save you years of overthinking.

What you call “perfectionism” is a fancy name for your Fear — fear of not being good enough, fear of under-delivering, fear of not being worthy of your dreams, fear of taking up space, fear of inadequacy, fear of failure, fear of speaking up, fear of being exposed, etc. You are not your fears. And you can change the channel!!!

“It might just be easier to do nothing…”

“How dare you think of even trying?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

Stop this.

If you never try, you will never know. If you never ask, the answer will always be “No!”.

It’s just terror, and it is not serving you: you don’t have to be “perfect” to be here, and “perfection” is not the rent you have to pay to be a breathing human being on planet Earth.

I’d even say, now that I know what I know: follow the Fear, it will show you where the magic happens.

Oh, how I love the visionary part of you…

You seem to always see the future, or the “possible futures”. There is a dreamer, in you. It will inspire people, so keep up with your visions…

You have a gift for seeing how others can shine bright and reveal people’s potential. I am still unsure of what we call this, and I don’t know if there is such a job description in the world for what you will be doing.

Don’t fool yourself here: you were not made for a cookie-cutter solution, and you kinda chose to pave your path anyway (it’s your Aquarius energy, isn’t it?).

I’d suggest you try two opposite strategies.

For a while, focus on making something truly for yourself, be very selfish about it, don’t tell anyone about it until it’s done, say no to everything that is not that thing you are making, and see what happens.

You may create here the best thing possible, infused with your unique frequency, and your light might elevate others.

If you are not satisfied with the results you are getting, try a different strategy.

Be the quiet one in the room — we both know that you’d rather hide in a corner until someone notices you — and observe.

Question the social silence: what is not being said, what is the collective illusion, who is left behind when everyone is paying attention to the loudest ones in the room, etc. Keep questioning what appears to be so familiar to everyone when it was once strange, you’ll find gold nuggets.

Once you find the delicate balance between the two strategies, you’ll be able to merge the Visionary and the Philosopher in you (by the way, I’m really glad you did go for this Master’s Degree in Philosophy) and bring forth a new way of being.

When you feel low, lost, or confused, my best word for you would be to go help someone, to focus on someone else than yourself. You are the only one standing in your way, so helping others will give you direction.

But beware of false goals — when you feel what you’re set to do doesn’t make sense to you, when you don’t see the point of what you are doing, or when you just feel like you’re giving your power away…

Make sure that the direction you are choosing for yourself is making sense to you, turning your life into an ongoing celebration.

“Purpose” is not a destination in Fantasyland.

Your purpose is right in front of you, in the room you are in right now. Whoever is in the room with you when you are reading this, smile at them, love them, and be there to serve them. God put you in this room right now for a reason.

Do you want to be loved? Give your love first.

Oh, and you don’t have to accommodate or please everyone.

When you find yourself looking outside of yourself to validate who you are, or waiting for others to tell you what to do with your life, keep in mind that you have all the answers within you and you can trust that your intuition will light up the path for you.

The mastery of your light lives in the mystery of your shadows.

You have all it takes inside of you, and those parts of you you are trying to hide might well be holding the most powerful fuel for your success.

We want you — we need you — to share your weirdness, your funny theories, your dry humor, and your wise sense of irony.

Trust that your light will attract those meant for you — and let the rest remain blind.

By the time you read this letter, you will already be a mother and a wife — I know, it sounds crazy because you always said this would be the greatest commitment. It is! And it happened so fast for you…

This initiation did give you a superpower: you can turn anything into an object for meditation: your pace, your space, and your peace. When you turn 32, calm is the new cool.

You will be very successful when you start living by your own credo and accepting what is truly meant for you. Some things, places, jobs, people are not meant for you: let them go.

Create a vacuum for the right things for you to come to you. Don’t chase, attract! And by the way, learning how to be an excellent receiver will take you a long way.

In this dimension, when you define success in your terms, there is no room for comparison, there is no room for envy, and you don’t have to prove yourself! What a relief!

Uniqueness might be all you have, but that’s enough.

Do what brings you joy.

Be in love with life.

Give gratitude and blessings.

Be grateful for both your roots and your wings, for you need both.

I don’t want to sound like I-know-it-all, but here are my final words of wisdom for you: choose yourself, today, because we know that the chosen ones chose themselves.

Believe in yourself when no one else on the planet does.

Take a chance on yourself, now. You will thank me later.

You don’t want to die with your dreams still inside of you, do you?

I hope that you understand that everything happens for you and that you never forget what your grandfather once told you when he was not able to remember your name anymore: “I don’t know who you are, but you were born under a lucky star”.

Let this letter serve you as a guide, go kiss your loved ones, and trust that everything will turn out just fine.

May tears, if shed, be of gratitude for the life you’re building. It’s your chance, celebrate it! May you swim into a sea of blessings.

Ardas Chandra

this is 32!

Thank you for reading. I’m delighted you are here. It means the world to me.

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