So your best friend is a trench coat?
(style) yes and here is why
Nobody talks about it, but personal style is rooted in the subconscious mind.
Becoming a mother at 28 gave me a chance to break away from a decade of wearing uniforms — clothes chosen by others, which I wore because I somehow had to fit in. Yet, in my vast ignorance (was it naivety?) of what the experience of “being a mother” would be like, I was sure about two things: I would not dress like a mom, and I would show up to the best of my ability every single day:
To my child, I am The Coolest Woman He Knows.
What I say, do and wear makes an impression on him 24/7, forming in his subconscious mind the energetic baseline of what “Mama” is, but also what “safe” means. Trustworthy, relaxed, confident, nurturing: that’s the kind of mother I am, a frequency I consciously choose every day. It’s an attitude. Just like you, I have only three ways to create the impact I want: my words, my actions, and my projection (aura and style). Giving thought to how I dress is not a futile act. It’s the ultimate creative act.
The thing is… I don’t remember signing up for a double life — offline/online. When I was born, the selfie didn’t exist and there was only one direct line: human life. I guess I overlooked the fine print of the soul contract. As a parent, I am concerned about this “age of influence”. I can’t see it going in the right direction, and yet, just like you, I am being influenced by my physical and digital environment. Filtering through the noise and temptations AND remembering who I am, what I stand for, and what I love simultaneously requires a calm nervous system… and a sense of balance at my core. With scrolling made easier with every software update, critical thinking feels like a far-off land.
But I can use my thumb to create s p a c e in seconds. Unsubscribe. Unfollow. Mute. Close all tabs. Delete app. Forget the phone in the other room. Voilà! My superpowers. I’m sitting in the driver’s seat again: remember? Alongside meditation and morning pages, it is the best way I found to clear my subconscious mind from many ideas that aren’t meant for me: I just don’t allow them to get there in the first place. No more comparison trap. No more envy. Rather, space to remember that I have everything I need: integrity is not eligible for a one-click purchase with same-day delivery.
I call it my Sphere of Silence, a time and space to connect to my through-line. Who you see is who I am. Words. Actions. And Personal Style. If this were a piece of clothing for me, it would be a trench coat — the ultimate superhero cape that protects me from unsolicited influence and projects me into the world as my higher self.
Infinite blessings,
Ardas Chandra
I would call the color of the shirt in the first picture, Greige :)
Thanks for that article.